Firstly, i've only been with my boyfriend 4 months and have only been sleeping with him for 3. Secondly he's only the second person i've ever slept with, the first one being a complete tosser in the end and me only doing it once and regretting picking him. Therefore I forget about him and pretend that my current boyfriend was my first. Also, i know i am his second which i accept, but i still get a bit put off by it...is that a bit crazy that i wish he lost it to me? Anyway i feel as if i can count him as my first because in comparison he is HUGE. Not pornstar 12 inches around huge, but a fair 8 1/2 inches which considering it was only my 2nd time when i first slept with him, was a bit of a squeeze. [excuse the pun] Now im not some slutty hoe-bag, infact my friends thought id be a virgin forever [which probably influenced my decision to pick the first guy] but i knew instantly when i started to get closer to the guy who would shortly become my boyfriend that i wouldnt be able to wait long before i slept with him. haha naive me i hadnt yet seen the size of his rod so wasnt in the least bit anxious about it. but yer we had sex within a month, and it was ok, nothing too vigourous, considering, but it felt like a nice way to bring us together and i know i felt closer. he was gentle, as he knew what he was working with but because of an injury he sustained through sport he couldnt even masturbate for a year so has become quite sensitive shall we say.

that was fine in the beginning because i was still adjusting to his little friend and he has got a lot better in the past few months but as times gone on and he hasnt come so quickly anymore ive felt ive had to show my enjoyment a bit more, the thing is he hasnt made me orgasm once yet. not through sex of any kind or manually or orally. i think its because im constantly worrying about him coming too soon because i know when he does he'll be in pain afterwards. i cant apply that to the manual or oral time though

im frustrated, not because im a sex crazed maniac, but because i keep having to fake it - im only bloody 19 i shouldn't have to! i want us to share the experience but if i leave it too long i can see hes working his socks off and is getting anxious that hes doing it wrong and i feel bad. hes NOT doing anything wrong, far from it. and i know i can orgasm cos i can make myself come.

However we did have this one brilliant night about a fortnight ago and i really thought it would be the night. it wasnt too late, about 9ish and we didnt have anything to do, he was at his desk on his laptop with i-tunes on and i was just chilling out laying on his bed and we were having a chat. there was only a small desk lamp providing light. for some reason we were both standing up at one point and we passed and i kissed him as usual, putting my hands around his waist and up the back of his shirt. as a new development he started running his fingers through my hair but then started grabbing my bum as per usual

things were moving slowly which was nice, a pace we both quite like, and i noticed later on that he had switched his i-tunes to a lovey dovey playlist

niiiice. my cardigan slid off, then he started kissing my neck, working his way down through my chest. t-shirt came off, as did his. i was kissing his chest while scraping my fingers on his back. i knelt down and undid his belt and jeans buttons then stood back up so he could undo my skirt. i was standing in just my bra and leggings but wrapped around and pushed up against him and i knew he was absolutly raring to go

couldnt wait. eventually the leggings came off as did the bra, he frogmarched me backward towards his beg and pushed me down on top in a wanting way, crawling up the bed after me kissing my legs up to my face then grabbing my the back of my knees and pulling me towards him as he slid up the bed. he grabbed me and sat me up as we kissed, ran his fingers down my back then grabbed my bum and rolled down my knickers with this thumbs, sliding them off he returned back down for a kiss with the other lips, again it felt amazing, as he definetley was the first one to do this and the moaning that was escaping me was more than encouraging im sure. after a bit i stopped him [because as good as it felt unfortunately i knew it wasnt happening] and i whipped off his boxers. quick massage to secure the stiffy and rubber on, he more or less lunged at me, ravenous for my neck. and then it enevitably slipped in and we were going for good. started missionary then, as we have discovered we enjoyed in the mornings, he manuvered my legs and we had a forking session. some call it spooning but when the prong comes out i call it a fork. i think thats one of my favourites at the moment because he likes to wrap his arms around me and hug me while we have sex, its like it brings us closer, hes quite a gentle soul really, hes not one to pump for hours, he likes to be sensual. then i completed my 180 degree spin and we did it doggy. it wasnt like a rough doggy though, there was no slamming of hips or grabbing of love handles, he caresses the front of my thighs or holds my hand while the other one supports him. feeling as deep as he could go, at this point he knew he wouldn't last long, as did he so sadly i did give a cheeky fake one, but i all honesty i thought i wouldn't need to, he just hasnt found my g-spot with his penis yet, im sure given time that will change. as he sped up though i did find i was moaning natually with each thrust and thought if this goes on for much longer i may have a second O, but really being my first real one. i love the sound he makes when he can feel the point of no return bounding up, its hot its needful its exciting its almost as if i can hear him smiling then crunch his eyes shut and it makes me speed up. hes told me before that he loves how i know that and how i speed up cos it increases the intensity because he doesnt know where the extra power is coming from because its not him. and the warmness of his juice, theres nothing to compare it to, how it feels inside. but the best bit is when he collapsed on top of me, because he was in pain from his injury after coming. because hes so warm and perfect that i feel secure and we cuddle until... well either we go again or we feel like getting dressed, usually to get some food if im honest, he tends to crave bacon or chicken after sex. a packet of crisps at the least

i know its early, and im young, but i do genuinely love him and he thinks il get fed up with him but truely i know i wont. he too, says he loves me, all the time. he even said it first. which i was shocked about. but i hope we are one of those couples that goes on and on and on because if i feel like this now, i dont even want to imagine what the negative will feel like. i am in love and for the first time im not afraid to show my affection