Am I a selfish bitch or do I deserve more?
I'm 28 years old a mother of two and a wife to a wonderful man. We have been together for 9 years married for 3 1/2 of them.I love my family to death. I just think I'm being bad now. My husband works his ass into the ground for everything that we have. We have 2 cars and a truck. We live with my mother right now, because shit is too high to live on our own, with the two kids and all of our bills. I own my car he owns his truck and the other car we are still paying on. Insurance is way high cause of his driving to damn fast. No credit cards other then one which isnt much. Sattilite bill, plus we pay for six of us to eat everynight. Gas money for my husband cause he works 60 miles away, in another town. Ok getting to the point. I have never cared before about anything other then a roof over my head, clean place to sleep, clothes on our backs, food in our tummys, and wheels to get us where we need to go. Well now Im thinking to my self that I'm never going to get my own home. Never going to have anything other then what I already have. I have practiticly new thing that are in storage getting ate by rats and shit and pissed on by them. My stuff is getting ruined. I get mad every time I go there to look for something that I miss or need. I dont know what to do I love him dearly but I need my own space away from my mom and my brother and my kids need there own rooms and I need my things out before there is no saving them, He always tells me that he will buy me all new things. but some things are not replaceable. I'm scared that Im pushing him to the edge and he gets stressed out and Im frustrated and well I dont know what to do now. I love him but I think that I want more.??:-?:?::-(:-o
;-)
sorry about all thee above. my little girl pushed a whole bunch of buttons all at once on me
He's making no money and controlling and has no prospect to make more. She can't/won't do what she needs to make more. Living with (her)mom. No higher education. Sounds like this is lower class as in impoverished (fam of 4 on ~$30K).
My analysis. You want better, make it. Go to school.
Darlene, decide what YOU want out of life. Create a plan/path and set out on it.Require EVERYTHING you do to contribute toward it. How do you want your kids to grow up? Having and learning how to get what they want or wanting better and never seeing how to get it?
Then see if he fits in. Otherwise you will always be unhappy with your choice of man or choice of ______ (fill it in before you decide you want what goes in the blank).
$.02 and outta here. Hope it helps you make a seemingly easy decision.
A normal guy (from a city)
ps - I ran this buy my group of friends (engineers, teachers, moms, architects, computer ppl) all said almost the same...
You say you are living with your Mom and she still has 20 years left on her mortgage. I assume you are paying her a monthly rent, if not you should be. It is one thing for your husband's pride to be that he wants to provide for his family, it is another for him to then turn around and leach off your mom. If your mom is such that she does not need or want rent from you, then your husband and you should then pay rent to a savings account. Once you have saved enough for a down payment, you can then buy yourselves a house. I would think that your husband could be much prouder of himself if he was able to buy the family their own place to live. As for you, I hope you are not just cooped up in the house. If he won't let you find paying work, find a volunteer job for your "me" time. If nothing else, help out at school. I don't think they refuse free help from anyone.
Darlene,
Tell him you are getting a job that fits into the family schedule so you can help provide what you want the family to have. Let him know, you are now going to be working. Tell him "I am going to be working, you can stay and enjoy our road to a much better life or you can leave. If you leave that only reenforces the need for me to work" If you are living with YOUR mother, then he is the one that will be without a roof over his head. Just remember what YOU want out of life for YOU and YOUR kids. As hard as it is, maybe you and your kids might be better off without him.
Darlene.:!:
Darlene, your life is YOURS not his or anyone else. Decide if you want happiness (and what happiness is to you). You don't seem happy (to me). A decision or path you make/take might hurt and require sacrifices, but you are responsible what you get out of life. Decide what you want and make it happen. We are all entitled to live a great life, each one of us just has to make it happen for themselves!
FWIW the more hard decisions you make, the easier it gets. Analysis to Paralysis is the worst and hardest thing to get out of. Make a decision and go. You already have the facts, They don't sound like they'll change themselves.You can change yourself and what you want.
So decide how YOU'll change or accept it (sounds like you want change to me).
$.02 again.
Why do you need three?
#2You are a grown woman. Decide for YOU if you are qualified enough to get a job that will pay enough.
Would you need babysitters or would you Mom care for your kids when you worked?
#3 Unless you both share and work and don't want to many luxuries at this time and try to save some money you will never be debt free or be able to buy a house.
Do you pay rent to your mom and help out on your part of the food?
Do you have too many bills and can you pay them each month?Do you buy too much that you can do without for a time?
$ 29,000 is a very low income and if you don't have to pay it all out in baby sitters, then you need to work. But don't buy or want too much untill you have some money saved.
Go to court and get child support from the EX. Your husband is not in control of that.
That is your decision only.
If your husband threathens to leave you if you work then he has a problem. He is not your Lord and master. You are 50% of your marriage. Your wishes count too. If you live in your moms house and it belongs to her then tell your husband you will work if it IS wise to do it.
If mine said that and I was living with my Mom I would say" Leave then"( CALL HIS BLUFF) I will work and get a better education and support myself. And he can give you child support too if one of the kids is his. Double child support and a job would keep you in fair shape.
But it is your choice and I wish you luck! :-)
About the three cars thing I own my car. His mother gave him the truck and he Bought his car b4 his mom gave him the truck. after his car is paid for he is selling it. I have my car in my name only. for reasons that if he leaves he cant take it from me. lol well off to the off to do my volunteer time.
andyoumostlikelyeatbon-bons and sitonyour
assandwatchtvalldaystopcrying :twisted:
Hope things get better Darlene!!:roll:
Have a good day all!
Hi TG/H! How's the girl today? Will e-mail you. LATER!! :mrgreen:
http://confessions.jokeroo.com/?msg=8886837
As for living at home with your mom...2 woman can not share one kitchen. You need to move. If you have to rent then so be it. He aready travels 60 miles to work, look in a 60 mile radius from his job, there has to be SOMETHING in your price range! We make $40 a year with a family of 6! You can do it to!
Good luck!!!
;-)
the thing with two women in the kitchen well my mother is never in the kitchen I do all the cooking and cleaning. so not a prob there .. just her damn smoking kills me and my kids lungs.!!!
Most 1 Bedroom Apts. range about $500 to $550 --and 2 bedroom about $600 to $650.--- 3 bedroom about $700 or $750( With washer and dryer)
A 4 bedroom2600 to 3,000 Sq. Ft.large new house cost from $100,000 to $200,000all brick. Older homes about $75,000 to $80,000 all brick.
Utils are cheap.
Water- $18---average
Elect is $196 to cool a 4 bedroom 2600 sq. ft.large house ea. mo.---
Gas---is $26 average a mo.
Car Gas is $2.59 a Gal average( Cheaper @ Sams)
Food is cheaper.(wally World)Cheapest. Or Sams Club
No need for coats or boots and heavy clothes. Just a light jacket in Jan and Feb is all.
Large buisnesses to work at: Lockheed, Boeing and tons of places to work.
As soon as my truck is paid off I plan on getting a house on a couple of acres :-D
Sounds to me like your husband wants to keep control of you and you are letting him.
It's your life, no one else's and you need to ask yourself if you want to spend the rest of your life living like this or if you want to improve your life....either with or without your husband..
You only live once!!
You can e-mail me at usjeffviejo@yahoo.com
Now why would I want to take away your job....huh??
Tommy, you might want to invest in some lubrication :mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen:
ROFLMAO
I HOPE Tommy is an imposter, the old Tommy was not like that!
LOLOL @ Trish with your retort to 'Tommy' Same old Roo same old crap, just a different day! ;-)
Good Luck,lady!!!!!!!!!!!
Kittylass~ I work for the IRS. For tax season and well that lasted 2 months, and well I was working five days a week and I got $5,000 just in two months. That was my gross amount.
Dont get me wrong I like to cook and clean but it gets old when you live with 2 extra adults and they drink out of different cups and dirty dishes and just throw them in the sink. I did give up on the cooking and cleaning for a week when I was really sick and well just that much more to clean the next week cause they ate therw in the sink. The kids had pbj sandwiches and then after kids went to bed they would make eggs or bake something. It pissed me off .. and my hubby off. but he is not here during the week at times so he really could not help me. That man can out clean me. when he came home on friday he was like what the fuck and he started cleaning when we were done he told my mom and my brother they need to clean there own shit and he told them im not there fucking maid. I was like :shock: <~~that cuase I didnt thing he would say anything. but he did .I was proud of him . my brother makes $600.00 a week take home and well he pays for his car which is $280.00 and his ins which is $82.79. And that is all he pays. he doesnt give my mom shit nor does he buy shit. it was funny I have to tell you my mom said that we were out of tp. and I told he well what you gonna wipe your ass with then. she told me I needed to buy someI went to the store and bought some but and hide it in my closet and only took it to the bathroom when my hubby kids or I had to use it .. her and my brother were pissed ... then last night my sister took my kids golfing .. and so my brother ate fries that he brought home from work I had string cheese and salad and my mom came home and said "what you gonna cook for dinner?" I told her "well I ate cheese and salad and my brother had fries.. and my kids are gone so im not cooking" she got mad. then she went and got some milk out of the fridge and went to her room and when I walked by she was eating cookies a chocolate muffin and milk for dinner and I shoke :roll:my head and went back to my room. and she wonders why she is fat. :roll:OMG my sister came back with the kids and they ate out lobster and crab, and fried clams.I was like yuck I hate sea food just the smell of it makes me sick.:-?
and my sister and I get along great and her and my mom dont really get along either. and my mom kept talking her ear off and I was trying to help her get out of the door by saying ok tell auntie thank you for golfing and dinner she has to go now she has to get up early for work .. bye auntie.. lol :mrgreen:so then she said thanks and she was gone.. Well off to work I go.. i would for Irs still
good luck and all the best to you and your family.