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Anonymous
Jul 1st, 2007
4:28 PM
1

When Will The Pain Stop. I Wake Everyday

When will the pain stop. I wake everyday and goto bed everynight thinking about my family. The pain of not having a wife anymore keeps growing not getting better as everyone says it should. I have to see everyday what has become of her and her new life, not that I want to but I want to see my kids and I have to goto her house to pick them up. My family is not complete without her and my step daughter and because of that I have such a hard time going on. I seem to only think about how much better things are for her now and how lucky her new husband is to have my family now. I can't wait until my life on this earth is over. Not having anything to live for is the same as being dead anyway. I would try to find a girlfriend but how fair would that be , I still love my ex and could never anyone that is as great as she is, besides it still wouldn't a family. When did marriages become a throw away item? Why doesn't anyone try anymore? I woke one day to find my whole life had been given to someone else. He hadn't worked for any of it she just gave it to him. Why? As I sit here thinking about this week I have to fight back the tears knowing I will be alone with no hope of even a phone call from the only woman I ever loved. They say noone has died from a broken heart but everyday I pray that it will be the last on this earth.

Anonymous commented on When Will The Pain Stop. I Wake Everyday
Sunday, July 1st, 2007, 5:40 PM EDT
:-(
Anonymous commented on When Will The Pain Stop. I Wake Everyday
Sunday, July 1st, 2007, 5:41 PM EDT
:-o
Anonymous commented on When Will The Pain Stop. I Wake Everyday
Sunday, July 1st, 2007, 5:41 PM EDT
:mrgreen:
Anonymous commented on When Will The Pain Stop. I Wake Everyday
Sunday, July 1st, 2007, 5:42 PM EDT
:shock:
southern chick commented on When Will The Pain Stop. I Wake Everyday
Sunday, July 1st, 2007, 5:51 PM EDT
Dunno what is up with the faces but hey listen...time heals all wounds, it just takes awhile but it will geteasier. Try to find something you like to do. You know, to take a break on your emotions. I went through what you are going through and I know what it feels like. Put your focus on YOU now and start getting out and making new friends. she has moved on and so should you. Be strong and don't give up on yourself. When one door shuts, God is opening another door! I have a loving husband now and the person who left me like that hasn't been around since 2000. Unanswered prayers are good sometimes!
simple commented on When Will The Pain Stop. I Wake Everyday
Sunday, July 1st, 2007, 6:56 PM EDT
Hey man, Its not easy but for the sake of your children for one pick yourself up and try again.. They need a happy dad. And if you dont let anyone else in how will you knowif you can love again. Love is at the door and knocking..You are the only one who can let the bitterness out and allow love to flood your soul again. It can happen if you allow. She is gone, forgive her and try and move on..She has. There is a whole lifetime ahead of you. Dont check out on it. There is hope for you. You sound like a decent guy and it doesnt sound like committment is an issue for you. Many ladies would loe you for that and be faithful to you. You have to give them that chance to prove it. Good luck ;-)
Anonymous commented on When Will The Pain Stop. I Wake Everyday
Sunday, July 1st, 2007, 7:17 PM EDT
:-o
Good grief! commented on When Will The Pain Stop. I Wake Everyday
Sunday, July 1st, 2007, 7:26 PM EDT
Southern Chick and Simple hit it dead on. It's time for you to stop feeling sorry for yourself. You're not the first person who's been going through a divorce and believe me, you won't be the last.Look at it as a learning experience. Pull back your shoulders and look around you, not down at the ground.
Jan commented on When Will The Pain Stop. I Wake Everyday
Sunday, July 1st, 2007, 8:14 PM EDT
When will the pain stop.----------When YOU quit whinning and move on. :roll:
loveangel commented on When Will The Pain Stop. I Wake Everyday
Sunday, July 1st, 2007, 9:01 PM EDT
put in god hands and he will take care of it and look on the side line for your best friend there to help you thew it all u will find true love in time
Anonymous commented on When Will The Pain Stop. I Wake Everyday
Sunday, July 1st, 2007, 10:16 PM EDT
Thanks for all the advice. I left a few things out the first time around. To add more to a weak person my dad passed away 3 weeks ago, thats three things I cared so much about. I'm not the kind of person to let my emotions get the best of me. I try to think things threw, but like I was trying to say earlier I just don't want to go on. Sure I could stop whinning about it if I didn't care so much about the family I had. To me a family is something that should last forever, sure I have my kids but that isn't what a family should be. To me a family is two parent, married, and living together and maybe a kid or two. If one parent isn't there then things don't work right. What kind of an example did my ex set by walking away from our family? Only to get move in with her boyfriend as she moved for our house, to cut my face from our family pictures and hang them up for all to see. To tell my kids they had to like her new man because she said so. I know I did things in our past together that I shouldn't have done. But I never hit her, I always had a good job,and I didn't drink or do drugs.My dad thought the world of my ex and after she left me the shame I felt was so great I could even look him in face anymore. I lost my family thats all I could think of when I saw him, and now he is gone I really can't think of a reason to go on. Time hasn't even begun to heal this wound if anything it only makes it worse. I just want to die.
Anonymous commented on When Will The Pain Stop. I Wake Everyday
Sunday, July 1st, 2007, 10:36 PM EDT
Also this week would have made 13 yrs together but sadly it ended at 11 yrs 8 months and 25 days.
Jan commented on When Will The Pain Stop. I Wake Everyday
Sunday, July 1st, 2007, 10:47 PM EDT
Again,pick up and move on.Force yourself!If family is everything to you and you say you want to end it,WHAT kind of example would that be for your kids? An example of,when life does not go the way you want then just end it.What example is that?If you LOVED your Kids you would never put that burden on them!Like that wouldn't fuck them up for life.Put your kids first.Maybe you should consider looking into getting some help.BEST of luck to YOU.
Old Jake commented on When Will The Pain Stop. I Wake Everyday
Sunday, July 1st, 2007, 11:26 PM EDT
Again, I am no judge of others.
In fact, I don't know what to believe or not to believe.
But I am gonna assume that this story/confession is authentic.
To start, Gawd, I love those Southern Chicks. They seem to have their head on straight. I married one and will be celebrating our 55th anniversary the last of next month, August. Something must be working out for us.
But I do know many with the same problem you speak of. All I can tell them is, hang in there. Was it love at first sight with you and your ex? I doubt it, although lots speak of it and attempt to convience me that it does exist. There is a difference between LOVE and infatuation.
Take a look at yourself before you start placing the blame. What about the way you dress. I know that the younger generation dress differently but don't change unless you already have. Ladies your age like the way men their age dress, and detest the way the younger dress. Attend functions where your age group is at. I don't mean bars. Sporting events, even Church Functions. Mix. You will eventually forget the past and start a new.
I may not be making sense to you but try it. Read what others say also. We all hope the best for you. There is a purpose for everyone and everyone for a purpose. Did I say that right?
totty commented on When Will The Pain Stop. I Wake Everyday
Sunday, July 1st, 2007, 11:38 PM EDT
You need to feel a sense of purpose in everything you do. Know that you can learn from your lessons and move on. Understand that everything has a purpose. You can learn from your past but do not well on it.

Move forward with purpose even when the direction is unclear, there is a higher purpose to everything.

Think about that;-)
totty commented on When Will The Pain Stop. I Wake Everyday
Sunday, July 1st, 2007, 11:40 PM EDT
hahaha, I just read the end of old Jakes post and its talkin about purpose too... see, its a sign!!!!
Totty commented on When Will The Pain Stop. I Wake Everyday
Sunday, July 1st, 2007, 11:48 PM EDT
Ive posted this as a confession before so you might have already read it but I always find it useful when im feelin shitty.... this is like my favorite quote ever!!!

Your life is an expression of your mind. You are a creator of your own Universe, for as a human being you are "free to will" whatever state of being you desire through the use of your thoughts and words.

There is great Power there.

It can be a blessing or a curse.

It's entirely up to you, for the quality of your life is brought about by the quality of your thinking. Think about that.

Thoughts produce actions. See the pettiness and the envy and the greed and the fear and all the other
attitudes that cause you pain and discomfort. Realize that the one thing you have absolute control over is your attitude.

See the effect that it has on those around you, for each life is linked to all Life and your words carry with them chain reactions like a stone that has been thrown into a pond. If your thinking is in order, your words will flow directly from the heart, creating ripples of love.

If you truly want to change your world, my friends, you must change your thinking. Reason is your greatest tool. It creates an atmosphere of understanding which leads to caring which is Love.

Choose your words with care. Go forth ... with Love.
Fresca commented on When Will The Pain Stop. I Wake Everyday
Monday, July 2nd, 2007, 12:39 AM EDT
Things will get better in time.Hard to think that you will be happy agin and sharing your life with a loved one but it will happen when the time is right.Hang in there.I give you vote #5 as to hopes you will get more input.
Helping hand commented on When Will The Pain Stop. I Wake Everyday
Monday, July 2nd, 2007, 2:20 AM EDT
First off, I'm sorry to hear about your Dad. I've never really had one in my life, but can imagine the bond, and the pain with his loss. Especially since it seems like maybe you didn't make peace before he passed.

As for your former marriage, I understand that you're in pain. Forever is supposed to mean forever. And we all have our dreams of the perfect life. However, they RARELY turn out that way. It's just not the way life works. Family has a whole different meaning these days. It's not neccessarily husband, wife, 2.3 kids and Sparky the dog living in a house surrounded by a white picket fence. There are divorces, step kids and frequently friends that become family. You've been divorced for over a year now. Your mourning period needs to end for this marriage. Stop dwelling on what you lost in the past and what you can NOT change and start focusing on what you DO have and what you CAN change.

First thing that needs to change is your attitude. If all you do is sit around and feel sorry for yourself, how the fuck do you expect to move on?!?!

Get off of your ass, get out there and live life! You are the only one responsible for your happiness...not your ex.

See a counselor or join a group for divorced people to help you learn how to move on emotionally.

If you have a problem with going to your ex's house to get the kids, then arrange to meet somewhere, or get them after school.

What I want you to do RIGHT NOW is make a list of things you've always wanted to do...silly little things, to great big dreams. DO NOT put anything on there about marriage, etc. Think back to your childhood dreams...make that list. Then pick one item on the list. Perhaps a small thing to start. And do it! Not someday, but NOW. If you need to go to work (about the only excuse) then plan for it. Date and time. And do it. Just that little step, a sense of accomplishment, can make a difference. Then go onto the next thing and the next.

You need to find yourself before you even THINK about getting into a relationship. Learn to love and appreciate yourself as your imperfect, wonderful self. Step by step...you can do it!

I also suggest a daily to do list, to give you a sense of purpose and guidance. And schedule special outings with the kids. Form those great memories that you can treasure forever!

I'm gonna say this once more, because it's important:

You are the only one responsible for your happiness!!!

Now, get out there and try new things, meet new people...live life!
stevent.222 commented on When Will The Pain Stop. I Wake Everyday
Monday, July 2nd, 2007, 2:33 AM EDT
Hi Hh!
stevent.222 commented on When Will The Pain Stop. I Wake Everyday
Monday, July 2nd, 2007, 2:45 AM EDT
hello!Is there anyone there?
stevent.222 commented on When Will The Pain Stop. I Wake Everyday
Monday, July 2nd, 2007, 2:46 AM EDT
no stevent.222 there is no one here.
stevent.222 commented on When Will The Pain Stop. I Wake Everyday
Monday, July 2nd, 2007, 2:49 AM EDT
why?
stevent.222 commented on When Will The Pain Stop. I Wake Everyday
Monday, July 2nd, 2007, 2:50 AM EDT
well because i said so thats why.
Helping hand commented on When Will The Pain Stop. I Wake Everyday
Monday, July 2nd, 2007, 2:52 AM EDT
Lol, Hi Steve! How ya doin'?
stevent.222 commented on When Will The Pain Stop. I Wake Everyday
Monday, July 2nd, 2007, 2:53 AM EDT
well ok then cause i was just asking Steven.
stevent.222 commented on When Will The Pain Stop. I Wake Everyday
Monday, July 2nd, 2007, 2:53 AM EDT
ok Steven that is not a prob. with me.
stevent.222 commented on When Will The Pain Stop. I Wake Everyday
Monday, July 2nd, 2007, 2:54 AM EDT
hi there little Helping hand.I am doing just fine, and I thank you for asking.

Helping hand commented on When Will The Pain Stop. I Wake Everyday
Monday, July 2nd, 2007, 2:55 AM EDT
You sure? You seem to be having quite a conversation with yourself, lol!
Aussie opal commented on When Will The Pain Stop. I Wake Everyday
Monday, July 2nd, 2007, 3:07 AM EDT
Mate you just GOT to move on, a death is making you more distressed, I can see that , it happened when my brother died, but you know what, your dad would WANT you to go on and be happy, he would not want you to be sad or to have a sorry existence, your kids need you, focus on them for a start and MOVE on...you too will find someone one day who will love you and not leave you, second chances are there for that reason, like Totty said be positive even when you don't want to be, work at it, it works...join a club where you will find like minded people, like sporting, book, church,or hobby club. It is NOT the end of the world, you just think it is because you are dwelling on the negatives. Go have grief councelling if you have to I needed it when my brother died, it does help. Good luck. BTW if your wife cut out your face from photographs>? Do you really think that is a nice thing? NO it isn't and it is a terrible thing to do to your kids, she is NOT as you are painting her, that is a NASTY thing she has done, spiteful too, not worth your worry over her oK?
stevent.222 commented on When Will The Pain Stop. I Wake Everyday
Monday, July 2nd, 2007, 5:17 AM EDT
Helping hand and Aussie O. wan Daneerouly Ingo guess what?you ain't that Dangeous.Cause I know lots of persons that would put you to shame. Me not included. only cause im a lover not a fighter.
stevent.222 commented on When Will The Pain Stop. I Wake Everyday
Monday, July 2nd, 2007, 5:19 AM EDT
nite now.and





POOF!


;-)
Max commented on When Will The Pain Stop. I Wake Everyday
Monday, July 2nd, 2007, 6:37 AM EDT
I think Helping hand has this one well covered.Good-Luck!;-)
Anonymous commented on When Will The Pain Stop. I Wake Everyday
Monday, July 2nd, 2007, 10:46 AM EDT
You admit that you did wrong too. Sounds like she cannot or will not forgive you. Time to move on as everyone has said.
Concerned commented on When Will The Pain Stop. I Wake Everyday
Monday, July 2nd, 2007, 2:16 PM EDT
That was depressing. I thinkyou need to seek counseling. Go out and mingle. Hopefully you will find someone you can fall in love with. Your broken heart will be mended, yours just hasn't started yet, but will. Good luck.
Anonymous commented on When Will The Pain Stop. I Wake Everyday
Monday, July 2nd, 2007, 3:08 PM EDT
WOW! Assmaster giving good advice!! What a guy!! :shock:
kid commented on When Will The Pain Stop. I Wake Everyday
Monday, July 2nd, 2007, 3:43 PM EDT
hi. im 14 and my parents have been split up since i was 7. they still hate each other for numerous reasons but most of the time they dont talk. they live totally seperate lives and most of the timr they forget each others names. you have to think about why this all happened an why you werent meant to be. once youve got that figured, think of all the positives. think of how you can do the stuff you always wanted to. my dad, he took up golf again and started racing wich hasbeen his life long dream. now he has a new partner and she loves cars and golf! you shouldnt change the way you are for someone, they should love you for the person u are. and now you know whats its like to be married with kids. you can meet new people, hang out with your friends, enjoy yourself and find someone who likes you for being that guy. i had the same problem with a girl i had been seeing for 2 years and who i'd known for 5 yrs. altho this was a shorter
period of time, when a friend gave this exact advice i movecon, started playing basketball and playing geeky computer games. ive never been happier and i know lots more girls that like guys that play sports and play geeky games. forget the past. live now!!!


cheeztring@hotmail.co.uk
Anonymous commented on When Will The Pain Stop. I Wake Everyday
Tuesday, July 3rd, 2007, 5:47 AM EDT
helping hand has saved the day again. maybe she should become a therapist sine she is trying to be dr.roo :roll:
@Aussie Opal commented on When Will The Pain Stop. I Wake Everyday
Tuesday, July 3rd, 2007, 9:10 AM EDT
The next worst thing is to be so in love with someone and can't have them.I love you from across the ocean.You are so beautiful, have such a cool head on your shoulders.The distance and your marriage keep us apart.But if ever, for even a single moment, you feel the least bit alone, unloved or unappreciated, just know that you are none of these.In my heart we are together and the world is right.But also my heart is sad because I can never look into your deep pools that pass for your eyes or taste your honey lips or rest my head on your perfect breasts, or make love to so delectible a passion-fruit.But you live in my heart as joined with me.Have a wonderful day, you exquisite example of God's perfect creature-woman.

Smitten,
Your Admirer From Afar
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