I Think I'm In Love With My Son

ive always had this feeling I might be gay. But in my time people were a lot less accepting. I got married to my wife because it seemed like the most logical thing. We started dating junior year of high school. We fought and broke up off and on for 3 years. We married while we were in college. It was logical. We were both going to be going into the same thing, we both wanted to live in the same area, we had the same goals, same religious views, same ideals. She gave me 3 beautiful children..

One of which was my son. It was around when he turned 14 that I remembered the first time I felt this way. He was growing facial hair, he voice was maturing.. I just saw him differently. I was so attracted to him. It wasn't until he was 19 that I started trying to be closer to my son, those moments hugging him when we went fishing I just felt a rush. It was like all these years of suppressed urges were rushing up to the surface, searching for release. My son and I started forming a bond, i convinced him to stay here and take on the family business with me. It was something I wanted anyways but I mostly wanted him to stick around so I could always be near him. We formed a bond and we talk about everything. We talk every day. When he talks about his sex life with his girlfriends I always get turned on. I always think about making a move on him. I almost did once while he was drunk. We both got drunk together.. Only he was a lot worse than me, i needed to be in control. I asked him if he wanted to go skinny dipping and he did, we wrestled in the water and he never noticed or at least remembered my hard on. When he passed out from being drunk and we were in the tent I even rubbed my cock against his face and rested his hand on it. I am a religious man and I know i will not only go to hell for being gay but also for incest and violating my own flesh and blood. I hate myselffor what i've done. I know my son is worth more than this. But I couldn't help myself. I am in love with him