I was home alone. It was very dark and so I went to turn on the lights, when i heard the sound of a gun loading. I dropped to the floor but never heard a gun fire. I got up and heard the sound again. When i got lights on, I discovered it was only my printer telling me it was out of paper. Ugh!

A study worth sharing with friends both male and female:

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example: if she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire.

No further studies are expected.

After a 3 1/2 hour coronary bypass surgery Friday morning Hippie Sis is doing well and on her way to recovery. She was "out of it" all day yesterday but we're on our way back down this morning and hopefully I can pass along everyone's concern for her. I know she will be especially grateful for the prayers.
Thanks from me as well. You guys are terrific and I look forward to her thanking you personally
Much love to you!

Good morning, roo world

I'm glad I was able to post something before I left yesterday that got a lot of opinions flowing. Thanks to everyone who took the time to respond to my post and the others that have come since. I'm leeching good stuff here Leech...its such an unattractive word, but it's actually quite fitting for the way I mean to use it here. I leech knowledge, then fall off to digest...and the roo world doesn't feel a thing.

@AO, somehow I managed to click the report button on one of your comments under my 'having a bad day' post when I was looking around. I don't recall doing it, but when I realized what had happened I sent feedback stating that I had no problem with the comment and had made a mistake. It was under this time stamp: 3:40 AM, Mar 6th 2010. Just wanted to let you know. Sorry about that.

When I woke up this morning this song was playing in my head, and though it doesn't fit my mood, it may connect with some of you. It's sweet, so I thought I'd share it.

Smile, though your heart is breaking
Smile, even though it's aching

When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by
If you smile through your pain and sorrow,
Smile and maybe tomorrow,
You'll find the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although tears maybe ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use in crying
You'll find that life is still worth while
If you'll just smile..

That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile what's the use in crying
You'll find that life is still worth while
If you'll just smile.

Lyrics by Charlie Chaplin, performed by Nat King Cole.

And with that, I'm off

What do you see when you look out your front window?
Traffic? People? Buildings? Weather? Flowers? Neighbors? Kids playing?

Is it a good view?

What do you see when you look out your back window?

"Sex With an Illegal Immigrant"

An illegal immigrant picks up a hooker. "Hey, how much you charge for da hour?" he asks.

"$100," she replies.

In broken English, he says, "Do you do immigrant style?"

"No," she says.

"I pay you $200 to do immigrant style."

"No," she says, not knowing what immigrant style is.

"I pay you $300."

"No," she says.

"I pay you $400."

"No," she says.

So finally he says, "OK, I pay $1,000 to do immigrant style."

She thinks, "Well, I've been in the game for over 10 years now. I've had every kind of request from weirdoes from every part of the world. How bad could immigrant style be?"

So she agrees and has sex with him. Finally, they finish and exhausted, the hooker turns to him and says, "Hey, I was expecting something perverted and disgusting. But that was not so bad. So, what exactly is immigrant style?"

The illegal immigrant replies, "You send bill to Government."

AND THAT MY FRIENDLY TAXPAYERS, IS EXACTLY HOW THE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ARE SCREWING

POST!!!

I was sitting at my desk yesterday, and I guess it was decided it was time I lost my job. My boss felt I was such a threat to the company that it was required that I leave the building immediately, and under force. I am the only IT person here, and the only person who could keep the systems running. I am not sure he thought this cunning plan all the way through. Anyhow, I did not steal anything, did my work diligently, and did it well. I was finally told today that they felt they needed to get me from my desk, and out the door before I could have a chance to damage the network.
So, they came to my desk to talk about wanting to make a change to a server. I began explaining what would be entailed when they grabbed me, pulled me from my chair, and started trying to haul me to the door. Like any normal human, I resisted, and fought back. In the process, one of them managed to step on my ankle, snapping it. I felt the pain first, and it fucking hurt. I should also add that I have a temper, and I tend to get crazy when someone confronts me unexpectedly, especially when pain is involved. So, they heard the snap as well, and they both stepped back from me, letting me fall on my face, in front of nearly the entire fucking company who had gathered to see what was going on. My boss started cursing, and helped me up. When I saw him face to face, I gave him a shove, and managed to push him into the window to the other guys office, and he managed to fall through it. Guess who was arrested for all this?
I was initially arrested, but it turns out that the snap in my ankle is so bad, that I was detained in the hospital. I spoke with a lawyer, and this morning I find out that all charges will be dropped against me.
I remembered hearing a story about a guy who grabbed a girls arm after she jumped in front of his car. He was scared he nearly killed her, and she pressed charges. He was convicted of wrongful detention of a minor, and has to register as a sex offender. I got to wondering if by having these two do what they did for no reason (no charges, remember) could I get them for wrongful detention, or something similar. Turns out, I might. At the least, there will be assault charges. With my grievous injury, maybe I can get a payday out of this. I guess if between me and my boss, one of us has to be poor and destitute, might as well be him, right?

Hey everybody,

I had a fantastic weekend...so fantastic that I spent as much time enjoying myself as I did recuperating from my adventures. I hope all of you were able to have a pleasant past few days

With spring comes mud, amongst many other things, and with mud comes filthy paws...ah, spring, you are a nuisance, but I still love you.

Keep smiling!

Yes! It is!

So we have a bunch of new features here... But you can figure them out for yourself.

If you have any problems, suggestions, or find a bug, please reply to this post or send us Feedback (We prefer Feedback because it e-mails us).

Another cool think you can do is click on the calendar of the confession if you want to save it to your favorites. To remove it from your favorites, just click on the calendar again . I know this is confusing, but it will be made much easier in the future.

Thanks everyone for your time.

- JokerooTim

*** UPDATE ***
Because of an issue with "following" users, the feature has temporarily been disabled.